This Sinister Chef gets ghoulish in the following recipes - like a bloody scene from a Stephen King and Edgar Allen Poe story. Once you've digested this macrabe blog post, your taste buds may nevermore be the same.
And if you're a vegetarian, avert your gaze! Or peak through hand-covered eyes to read my queasy prose. I'm sure to be on pop musics morose, and strident vegan, Morrissey's *hit list if he ever sees this. (And I'm a big fan of his songs with The Smiths.)
Some of my most ghastly recipes may make your skin crawl, while others will have your taste buds baying at the moon with pleasure, mouthful after mouthful.
So read on, and don't forget to click on any recipe name that will then bring you to my original blog post to see all the hair-raising details -- presented with gory gifs, bloodcurdling photos, grisly videos, and eerie text.
Right off the bat, I like my Carne Asada steak and hamburgers medium rare. Oozing is fine by me - E. coli be damned!
Raw bloody carcasses of meat have been disturbingly depicted in fine art. Rembrandt van Rijn is primarily known as a Dutch painter of moody portraits during the 17th Century, and I am especially influenced by his "Carcass of Beef" (flayed ox) study - just check out the audacious composition with gory details.
And here's the artist Francis Bacon's 20th Century version, below.
The Chiaroscuro Chef photographs flesh against dark backgrounds lately (mainly on a blackened cookie sheet) - usually lit from a single direction, with deep shadows, very much inspired by Rembrandt. An artfully dark and forbidding example is my recipe for Pasta alla Genovese, where I use sliced cheap beef shank.
Buche (stomach,) lengua (tongue,) and tripas (intestines) are on menu at local taquerias and taco trucks. Watch the shuddersome video below to see what stops me in my tracks.
It can get messy cooking with meat. You have to have an iron stomach. Try breaking down a pork shoulder sometime, like I do below for my gruesome Carnitas video recipe.
It's probably the most artistically nauseating footage I've ever shot - but, boy does it taste heavenly when you cradle a fat stuffed tortilla filled with moist, citrus and cola marinated, slow-cooked pork.
Ground chicken or turkey is mushy and wet, more so than ground beef or pork. But I use it a lot as it's cheaper than beef. Just check out my Patty Melt video to see what I mean -- yuk!
After chicken, pork is the cheapest flesh. When hacked, mangled, and minced into sausage, it's delicious for breakfast, or added to a stir fry like my Green Beans and Ground Pork recipe below. This may sound perverse but it's actually fun to animate with ground meat, it's like playing with Play-Doh, just greasier.
Check out my video below to see the messiness.
Are you still with me? Man, are you are hardcore! I'm getting extra creeped-out just assembling this blog post.
Ever gut a fish? Whoa, that is one freaky task! Slice the belly open, yank out the internal organs then chop off the head -- oh, I'm feeling faint just remembering the viscera and the smell - barf!
If you want to scare the bejesus out of your dining guest, then serve them a Grilled Whole Fish - head on!
Sushi is typically made with freshly butchered raw fish. It's so artfully presented that you miss the gore that goes into each delicate slice of aquatic flesh.
Here's one of my tastefully shot Sushi recipe videos, the simply presented, Tuna Nigiri Sushi.
Halloween has a dark streak of humor and some of my recipes do too. Take my wacky Trump Orange Chicken....please. It looks like a McDonald's Chicken McNugget, but my entree is made with real chicken pieces, not a pink slime composite.
How about a recipe where Turkey Bacon swallows up a Brussels sprout like a disembodied human tongue...yikes!
I like to cook whole chicken or large leg quarters. There is nothing like the animal pleasure of ripping apart the poultry carcass and picking every piece of succulent meat off the bones. My Chicken Tinga and Roast Chicken with Rosemary are succulent examples.
Well, I'll leave you with the squishy butchering of a couple of chicken pieces. It's the cheapest meat you can get and I have all kinds of recipes that use it.
So get out there and have an entertaining Halloween holiday. It's not all blood and guts!